Q: One of my colleagues seems to have everything going for her – she is attractive, has a fabulous dress sense, and seems to have a much more exciting life than mine yet we’re both 24. To tell the truth, I am jealous of her and I feel inadequate when I am around her. How do I deal with this?
Forgive yourself for being a little bit jealous of your workmate, we all find ourselves here once in a while. You are still young, and as you get acquainted to the workplace, you will realise that the way petty jealousy played out in high school through to college is very present at work, albeit in less obvious ways.
When such jealousy drives you towards feeling inadequate however, you are sinking into a deep hole, and it is important that you stop yourself because it will not end well.
Firstly, remember that your colleague has no idea about the pain you go through as you analyse how she seems to have it all. Secondly, instead of such envy, how about giving her a simple compliment then see whether there are beauty tips you can pick from her as you interact?
Most importantly, be proud of who you are. Never underestimate your self-worth and do not ever let her beauty diminish your own. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Start dressing up to boost your image and build your confidence. Remember that lasting beauty is first and foremost from within. You may not have the fanciest wardrobe, hairstyle, or shoes, but if you have the right character, others will notice and you will soon have a lot going on for you.
Do not forget you are at work though, and that you ought to be using your time on work-related tasks. If you keep your focus on these, you are likely to have no time left to feel jealous. Refocus your energy and time in the right direction because it is your work that will count in your career, not your looks. Envy has never been known to change anyone’s life for better, it just brings about misery and resentment. I am sure this is not the way you want to spend your working life, full of irrational bitterness about colleagues who have no clue about what you’re feeling and whose lives and careers are thriving.
I am reminded of the saying,
You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars.
At 24, you have a clean sheet, a new page waiting to be written on. I hope you will choose to write a good story.
Originally posted on the Daily Nation.